Free Will

Perhaps one of the most perplexing and often times down right frustrating things about people is our innate sense of freedom. On the one hand it can be beautiful: different minds, attitudes, beliefs all co-creating the reality we live in. However, there is a good chance that somewhere inside you there is a sliver- no matter how teeny tiny, that would think that life would be better if everyone just believed the same thing. Our sense of urgency to control situations and others erupts and clashes with our sense of independence and free will.

Therapists undoubtedly have experienced this at some point in their practice. I often experience this urge to nag a client about how they didn't do the home work (stretches, nutrition diary, journaling) that I had given and "no wonder you're still in pain, you won't do this for you."

...Then I recall how many times I have done exactly this, how many times I had promised I would study for a test and instead wound up on FB for four hours one day and painting for two the next and completely forgetting the rest of the days in the week. Then the light bulb flickers on 15 minutes before the test, just enough time to let nerves set in and become completely nauseous over the test. Or how many times I was so exhausted after a day of giving massage that instead of doing some stretches and taking a bath I completely passed out- only to have the next morning be a painful reminder of my neglected duties.

More importantly I think, who am I? Who am I to judge? What authority have I been granted that lets me tell people that they are failing at ...being people? I have found that my massage table is often times like a Catholic confessional. You have someone standing over you, you're in a vulnerable position and you just feel obligated to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. "I have been doing bad with my diet," or "I haven't worked out since I last saw you," these little things about the body that creep up and feel the need to expel themselves. I always love hearing confessions that have nothing to do with the experience.

It's not that I don't care that my clients have their own struggles, but I am constantly reminded that I am just like them with my own personal struggles and where one client may be having a hard time  sticking to their diet, I am struggling with my personal battles like my love hate relationship with Mountain Dew (love the taste, hate how I feel afterwards).

I think as therapists, as anyone really, we don't have the authority to judge. To place someone at a lower or higher standard or criticism than us, we are equal. We don't have the right to take away their freedom, but we can draw upon our own personal strength that has come with trials and tribulations and help them see in a different light.