If this month were to have a theme it would be pushing the boundaries. Both personally and professionally I have noticed me being pushed to my limits and astonishingly going just a bit further. I love the accomplishment I feel when I have gone past what I identified as my own perimeter, it's as if each time I do so I am pioneering an entire new horizon for myself.
This theme has spilled into my massages as well. I understand the limitations and constraint we put upon ourselves when in pain and have fallen prey to lack of faith in what I am capable of achieving on many occasions. This month I have seen so many of my clients allow me to push them over their own boundary of what they think they are capable of. Each time with hesitation I dig a little deeper in their tissue worrying that they will hate me afterwards or that they will call me complaining a few days later. Ultimately I worry that they won't be ready for this journey I am pushing them into. Some of the poses and strokes are not the most relaxing restorative things to experience, but I've found that with people experiencing chronic tension and/or pain that sometimes you have to get through the uncomfortable massage to start enjoying it, and your body once again.
One of the quotes we heard early on in school was by Brian Tracy, "Move our of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new." I think this speaks volumes when thinking of the difficult position you may find yourself in during a massage. It is never my intention to hurt a client or cause them distress, but I recognize the relationships between tissues, muscles and bones and know that sometimes to find relief you have to dig deep.
When I get a body on the table it's as though I've just been handed a bundle of tangled wires. Each one is important and goes to something, but little functions until you begin to unravel. I love making connections and one day would love to chart all the connections I've made, the way a pain in your head could stem from your shoulder, the way you walk signals what muscles in your legs are tense, the whole human body is by far the most incredible thing I have ever put my hands on! I love digging into a scapula and tracing every muscle connection, feeling every fiber slide beneath my hands, running across a trigger point as if I was a detective who just got another clue about how to solve the puzzle...gliding my hands along the tender points of the neck and feeling muscles loosen around delicate lymph nodes...finding a tight IT band and breaking up all the fascial connections...it all just is mesmerizing to me and my curiosity propels my desire to mend areas in distress.
Its that desire to "solve the puzzle" mixed with a trust in my ability to intuitively treat the body that directs how far I push someone. Sometimes that means holding a tender area and speaking to it (yes I am constantly speaking to your bodies), sometimes that means that it just needs to be dealt with like a band aid quick and not so painless just to get through it. What I do know is that I feel truly honored that I have clients so trusting in my application of modalities to allow me to work on the body and continuously push you.
It may be a secret, but each time I challenge a client, I challenge myself as well. I grow further and further away from my fear of working on the body and deeper into the role I see as my calling.
So thank you, for pushing the limits!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
My Thoughts on Chronic Pain
100 million Americans, that's how many citizens, according to the Institute of Medicine of The National Academies, are living with chronic pain. Chronic pain is a reoccurring pain (either intermittent or continuous) that lasts longer than a few weeks. In many this pain last for months, in some this pain lasts for years. The most common chronic pain sufferers are those with chronic migraines, Fibromyalgia, back pain, head, neck and shoulder pain.
More and more these numbers of chronic pain sufferers grow and now the population has grown past those living with heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. As time goes on and specialists deplete the bank account many chronic pain sufferers lose hope of finding a solution.
In my personal life I have had bouts with chronic pain characterized as persistent migraines. When I began going through puberty is when I had the onset of left side pain and migraines that lasted a few hours every couple of weeks. This grew into daily migraines with daily left side pain, I forgot what it was like to not have this agonizing pain. I had gone to numerous specialists at the beginning of my symptoms. I received nerve tests, MRI's, CAT scans, and began a series of prescriptions. As the years went on and more of my life became consumed by this pain I conceited to giving up. I had, had a reaction to one of my medications and caused temporary vision loss and had my fill of taking pharmaceuticals.
Seceding to defeat over this pain actually refreshed my outlook. I wasn't dependent on narcotics, I wasn't moping about the pain, I was acknowledging I had pain and ignoring it. Which isn't the best either (imagine someone just ignoring they have heart attacks), but it worked for my situation.
I lived probably for about one to two years without drug intervention and constant pain, I happened to run into a Massage Therapist working in a research for migraine sufferers with massage treatment. She offered to get me on her table and see what she could figure out.
The first couple sessions I was hesitant as this woman poked and prodded around my head neck and shoulders. She would find points that lit up my areas of pain and I started to draw the connections of the body. We met on a pretty regular basis and I was still a skeptic for many months until one day I left her office feeling different.
I thought "something is very wrong here, what is out of place?" And on the stroll to my car I realized I was completely pain free! I began crying and felt liberated for the first time since I was a child, my body was mine once again! I in turn have found that through massage therapy I am able to give that same gift that was given to me.
I find with my clients, myself, and other people I have talked to, your life really morphs around chronic pain diseases. Hobbies and things you enjoy become less and less interesting because of this nagging feeling in your body. Eventually the idea of even leaving your house causes fear and anxiety of whether or not you will be able to have fun or whether you will be "stuck" out in pain.
Mood changes are also greatly impacted by debilitating pain, the more pain I am in, the more I snap at people. The more my vision is impaired by my migraines the less I want to be outside. The less time I spend outside the more depressed I become, the less I get out of bed, the greater my joint pain....
Chronic pain quickly becomes a vicious cycle. The most beneficial things for you while suffering in chronic pain are things such as: dietary changes, exercise, body work, but when you are in pain it is hard to find motivation to exercise, to make a healthy meal (versus pick something up), or to leave your house and be touched by a stranger leading to more pain.
The pain often becomes so great that those inside of a pain ridden body feel completely out of control and alienated by their own body. When this happens I believe our chronic pain sufferer begins a detachment of feeling like their body is a part of them.I think, and would be interested in researching my theory, that people suffering chronic pain are more likely to injure themselves, self-medicate, have body dysmorphic disease, or develop a serious mental illness.
The reason I have this belief is because of the connection I recognize between the body and the mind. I think that if one is out of balance it will cause irregularities in the other. Just as some chronic pain stems from emotional trauma, it is my belief that some of the physical trauma caused my chronic pain spills into a mental condition.
Recently, I have been inspired by my own pain and the pain I have seen in my clients to work on assembling a Chronic Pain Workshop (to facilitate and aid healing) as well as take home materials to track the progression/regression of people's chronic pain.I believe so little is known about this type of dis-ease and have intrigued the detective within me to delve deeper into causes and influences. I feel as though my involvement is really limited to the space the client will go with me. Often times the therapeutic techniques that I believe to be most beneficial for pain relief are often times the most painful to experience. I find the people that are the most open to these painful techniques are those who have exhausted a number of facets to achieving pain relief, but I believe those who experience the quickest most beneficial result are those who have just begun experiencing this pain, which usually doesn't coincide with the latter.
Every time I help relieve someones chronic pain I go back to that place of what it felt like when I found relief for the first time in years. I may not be able to "cure" anyone or force them to commit to lifestyle changes, but I can be there to support them as they transition through the surprises and stages of chronic pain. It is my hope that I at least give some insight to those whose path I cross, into their mysterious pain.
More and more these numbers of chronic pain sufferers grow and now the population has grown past those living with heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. As time goes on and specialists deplete the bank account many chronic pain sufferers lose hope of finding a solution.
In my personal life I have had bouts with chronic pain characterized as persistent migraines. When I began going through puberty is when I had the onset of left side pain and migraines that lasted a few hours every couple of weeks. This grew into daily migraines with daily left side pain, I forgot what it was like to not have this agonizing pain. I had gone to numerous specialists at the beginning of my symptoms. I received nerve tests, MRI's, CAT scans, and began a series of prescriptions. As the years went on and more of my life became consumed by this pain I conceited to giving up. I had, had a reaction to one of my medications and caused temporary vision loss and had my fill of taking pharmaceuticals.
Seceding to defeat over this pain actually refreshed my outlook. I wasn't dependent on narcotics, I wasn't moping about the pain, I was acknowledging I had pain and ignoring it. Which isn't the best either (imagine someone just ignoring they have heart attacks), but it worked for my situation.
I lived probably for about one to two years without drug intervention and constant pain, I happened to run into a Massage Therapist working in a research for migraine sufferers with massage treatment. She offered to get me on her table and see what she could figure out.
The first couple sessions I was hesitant as this woman poked and prodded around my head neck and shoulders. She would find points that lit up my areas of pain and I started to draw the connections of the body. We met on a pretty regular basis and I was still a skeptic for many months until one day I left her office feeling different.
I thought "something is very wrong here, what is out of place?" And on the stroll to my car I realized I was completely pain free! I began crying and felt liberated for the first time since I was a child, my body was mine once again! I in turn have found that through massage therapy I am able to give that same gift that was given to me.
I find with my clients, myself, and other people I have talked to, your life really morphs around chronic pain diseases. Hobbies and things you enjoy become less and less interesting because of this nagging feeling in your body. Eventually the idea of even leaving your house causes fear and anxiety of whether or not you will be able to have fun or whether you will be "stuck" out in pain.
Mood changes are also greatly impacted by debilitating pain, the more pain I am in, the more I snap at people. The more my vision is impaired by my migraines the less I want to be outside. The less time I spend outside the more depressed I become, the less I get out of bed, the greater my joint pain....
Chronic pain quickly becomes a vicious cycle. The most beneficial things for you while suffering in chronic pain are things such as: dietary changes, exercise, body work, but when you are in pain it is hard to find motivation to exercise, to make a healthy meal (versus pick something up), or to leave your house and be touched by a stranger leading to more pain.
The pain often becomes so great that those inside of a pain ridden body feel completely out of control and alienated by their own body. When this happens I believe our chronic pain sufferer begins a detachment of feeling like their body is a part of them.I think, and would be interested in researching my theory, that people suffering chronic pain are more likely to injure themselves, self-medicate, have body dysmorphic disease, or develop a serious mental illness.
The reason I have this belief is because of the connection I recognize between the body and the mind. I think that if one is out of balance it will cause irregularities in the other. Just as some chronic pain stems from emotional trauma, it is my belief that some of the physical trauma caused my chronic pain spills into a mental condition.
Recently, I have been inspired by my own pain and the pain I have seen in my clients to work on assembling a Chronic Pain Workshop (to facilitate and aid healing) as well as take home materials to track the progression/regression of people's chronic pain.I believe so little is known about this type of dis-ease and have intrigued the detective within me to delve deeper into causes and influences. I feel as though my involvement is really limited to the space the client will go with me. Often times the therapeutic techniques that I believe to be most beneficial for pain relief are often times the most painful to experience. I find the people that are the most open to these painful techniques are those who have exhausted a number of facets to achieving pain relief, but I believe those who experience the quickest most beneficial result are those who have just begun experiencing this pain, which usually doesn't coincide with the latter.
Every time I help relieve someones chronic pain I go back to that place of what it felt like when I found relief for the first time in years. I may not be able to "cure" anyone or force them to commit to lifestyle changes, but I can be there to support them as they transition through the surprises and stages of chronic pain. It is my hope that I at least give some insight to those whose path I cross, into their mysterious pain.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
The Road to Recovery
I had a perplexing thought today as I was listening to someone speak of their recovery. Often times we associate recovery with some sort of post rehabilitative state, either for addiction or injury, but it wasn't such with this person's circumstance. This excerpt doesn't need further explanation because it was simply their use of recovery that propelled my logic in this introspective direction.
It started first with me realizing I was actively in recovery. The single most traumatic event of my life happened a little over a month ago and spanned an anguishing nine days of my life. It was just prior to returning from a much needed sabbatical from the majority of my responsibilities and extended it further than what I had imagined.
It was with a stubborn heart I began a slow recovery to returning to my duties, every small accomplishment-taking out the trash, doing laundry, showing up for work or school, even something as minute as taking a shower was an obstacle of grand magnitude. With each minor success I rigidly and subconsciously welcomed a new step in recovering.
I withdrew from a class that while it had extensive requirements was the class I have been most eager to take since beginning school. It was with the acceptance and admittance to myself and others that I was incapable of providing care to another when I could barely pull myself together, that gifted me humility and grace in exchange for pieces of my pride. Another step in recovery.
Though I am currently on a path of recovery from this specific trauma I thought beyond today. Beyond tomorrow, beyond yesterday, beyond five weeks ago, this persons use of the word recovery made me realize that I have been in recovery since the moment I took my first breath. I realized we are all on the road to recovery. I've spent a lot of time running from things, fighting events, denying myself the ability to walk the path of healing. Through this denial and attempt to control every opportunity I have slowed my path of recovery and have created a barrier between me and my calling. I have wrapped up my power and my validation as a conscious being and have attributed every negative as "life" or "fate" and every positive as "luck" or a "blessing" leaving me out of my life.
From this little comment I realized that in the strong desire to control everything to have a desired outcome I have actually hindered and fought the process of my recovery- my own growth, not just with this instance, but with my life as a whole. The procrastination, the denial, the fear has guided much of my life.
I hope that I can begin now to submit myself to fully living, to fully healing, to fully loving. Or at the very least to always do my best to not reject these opportunities for growth.
Further, I hope that I am able to truly aid others in their road to recovery, recovering from birth.
It started first with me realizing I was actively in recovery. The single most traumatic event of my life happened a little over a month ago and spanned an anguishing nine days of my life. It was just prior to returning from a much needed sabbatical from the majority of my responsibilities and extended it further than what I had imagined.
It was with a stubborn heart I began a slow recovery to returning to my duties, every small accomplishment-taking out the trash, doing laundry, showing up for work or school, even something as minute as taking a shower was an obstacle of grand magnitude. With each minor success I rigidly and subconsciously welcomed a new step in recovering.
I withdrew from a class that while it had extensive requirements was the class I have been most eager to take since beginning school. It was with the acceptance and admittance to myself and others that I was incapable of providing care to another when I could barely pull myself together, that gifted me humility and grace in exchange for pieces of my pride. Another step in recovery.
Though I am currently on a path of recovery from this specific trauma I thought beyond today. Beyond tomorrow, beyond yesterday, beyond five weeks ago, this persons use of the word recovery made me realize that I have been in recovery since the moment I took my first breath. I realized we are all on the road to recovery. I've spent a lot of time running from things, fighting events, denying myself the ability to walk the path of healing. Through this denial and attempt to control every opportunity I have slowed my path of recovery and have created a barrier between me and my calling. I have wrapped up my power and my validation as a conscious being and have attributed every negative as "life" or "fate" and every positive as "luck" or a "blessing" leaving me out of my life.
From this little comment I realized that in the strong desire to control everything to have a desired outcome I have actually hindered and fought the process of my recovery- my own growth, not just with this instance, but with my life as a whole. The procrastination, the denial, the fear has guided much of my life.
I hope that I can begin now to submit myself to fully living, to fully healing, to fully loving. Or at the very least to always do my best to not reject these opportunities for growth.
Further, I hope that I am able to truly aid others in their road to recovery, recovering from birth.
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