You've heard it before, self-care, self-awareness, find you before you find the one, better yourself, chase your dreams... fortunately, and I believe equally unfortunate, we have a world filled with self-empowerment slogans, techniques, and encouragements. On the surface this is great, we should be committing ourselves to ourselves first and foremost. As you dig deeper this is easier said than done. Most of us have a hard time balancing relationships, work, kids, pets, hobbies and self-care. We tend to fall into the two ends of the spectrum: those that give endlessly and those that take needlessly. We usually tip the scale to the extremes dipping into each end of the spectrum without ever truly finding balance in the day to day life.
I wanted to give some quick tools to help you cope as they have been valuable tools in my own day to day balance of the scales:
- Practice Daily Meditation
- Set aside time each day to meditate, I shoot for (2) ten minute sessions a day, if I get more it's a bonus. Often times I take this in the morning when everyone is still asleep and just after I get off work. Sometimes I find myself sitting in my car or at my desk, but the key is finding a place that is quiet and you won't fall asleep with. Don't try to silence your mind, but instead embrace, recognize, and release things that come to you. Don't fixate on any one thing and try to get up to 90 min a day of meditation (though its a luxury).
- Create a Bedtime Ritual
- I find sometimes the only consistency and time for myself is late at night. This is the time that I use to give myself some deep self-care. I wash my face, brush my teeth, then proceed to self massage. Always giving my feet and abdomen special attention. I utilize this time to think of how good my body is (versus any of the negative thoughts that cloud my judgement regularly). I rub my stretch-mark tummy and admire that this was my babies home for a time being, I rub my aching feet and think- these puppies do me well, as I wash and moisturize my face I count lines tatted on my face from times of laughter.
- Use Food to Nourish, Not Comfort
- I believe that food should nourish first and seldom comfort. Times when it should comfort are when you're sick. Using food to constantly gratify can become an unhealthy addiction. I try to make everything with intention and submerge myself into the cooking process. The microwave is seldom used in my home, eating out is a special treat, each meal consists of carbs-proteins-fats and I aim for more organic and high vitamin foods. This is expensive, but so is heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, diabetes, and dentists. In the end my corner cutting (making things from scratch, buying in bulk, using a vacuum sealer...) is fairly cost-efficient and I know that my family is being sustained off of wholesome home-cooked meals.
- Get Regular Bodywork
- Pain is expensive! Doctors, specialists, missed work, missed life. Regular bodywork is a simple me thing that if continued on a regular basis can help reduce the occurrence of needing to go to the doctors. I know that a big set-back for clients is the cost of a massage and the guilt that goes with it. Consider the costs of ignoring your body. I recommend at least a monthly maintenance massage (more if you can swing it) and 60-90 min. sessions to address more serious issues (recommended to be spaced 5-7 days a part).
- Participate in Daily Mental Stimulation
- Keeping your mind active helps positive emotional and mental well-being. If you engage in activities that are mentally stimulating (especially new tasks) you actually rewire your brain and form new neural connections. Which is especially valuable as you age.
- Unplug for One Day of the Week
- This one is hard! But trying to unplug (phone, e-mail, tv, computer) one day a week helps you reconnect with yourself and the world around you. Many research has shown links between obesity, mental illness, and chronic disease. The more you sit sedentary on your smart phones watching TV the less time you spend outside (vitamin D), eating consciously, interacting with people (like in real life), rewiring your brain (for insomnia, stress, and chronic fatigue) and participating in physical activity. One day gives you time to recharge and do something new.
- Exercise
- If this is complicated by chronic disease the first step is to talk to your doctor about a regimen that is safe for you. Most people are able to participate in some form of physical exercise. Yoga, swimming, walking, and Tai Chi are great low impact activities to ask about! Working with one on one coaches is extremely helpful in maneuvering around first time aches and pains.
- Integrate Yourself into A Regular Outing
- I have regular outings that I go on. Once a month lunches, networking meetings, play dates, dates, and family days. Sometimes it's as easy as my husband and I committing to a night of reading a book together and talking about it or taking my son and dog to the dog park. This isn't always a big to do, but I make sure that I get out, form some connections and have some fun.
- Say Yes
- I added number eight, because so frequently I find myself dreading leaving the house, but very rarely regret when we are done. Saying yes to things that make you joyful and not feeling guilty about spending an extra $10 or not doing laundry is needed!
- Say No
- In a massage class that I took one of our tools we learned and practiced was to say no. We worked with partners regularly asking them to remove their hands and then to continue the massage. It taught us both to not take things personally and to find our voice. This can be applied to life as saying NO is OKAY! Too often I have clients who have bottled up so much that I believe it is manifesting in physical pain and dis-ease. We all struggle with some form of being a push-over. I have been making some great strides in my personal life and the most important thing I have to remember is- it's not personal.
I hope at least some of these are tools that can be helpful to you in your life.
Until we meet again,
Lizzie Johnson
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